Studio Reflections …
Friday ~ February 26, 2021
Full Moon energy
I am breaking through my first layers of resistance and stepping in to it ALL.
It is no surprise that I procrastinated and land on this day, painting my first painting for this collection, on the full moon – the snow moon.
As if the raw umber wasn’t dark enough – I just had to take a blob of black dark paint and announce the elephant in my studio and plop it right there – right where I could see it. And then I watched as I avoided the area as the rest of the colours joined.
Landslide Between 2 worlds Butterscotch Caramels – a bit explosive – love the earthy showing through Don’t get attached to the pink!!!
Video Reveal – The black space = grief. I honoured it giving it permission – giving it space to be here on this journey with me. I don’t touch the other side.
The Grief Side. I consider turning it to force myself to paint – to go there – and I can’t! So I cover it up with a warm blanket … for now.
The warm blanket unfolds and touches the other side.
I posted my progress and received lovely comments. Some said “look at the bright colours!” I can hear myself judging and coach myself to paint “happy colours” – express happy! Happy is good! Right? …. Do I paint to make others feel good about my grief? My process?
Okay lets unpack the metaphor – it is not your job Susan (the grieving soul) to make others feel comfortable with your pain.
Self Care Listen – give the grieving heart space to exist & breathe.
What people say – influence your grieving process. I keep wanting to “cover up” that space that isn’t working How does this relate to my grief story? Ask grief what would love do?
Turn it upside down – breathe – get into the meditation of it all. Notice and be present – what would love do?
Give up because it is hard?
I just sat with it and listened. What would love do?
Cover up cover up … soft blanket. It came to a stop and I trust that I would know when to put the final layers on.
When it was decided that Brent and I were going to do a collaborate piece together, I immediately thought of this painting. It wasn’t finished. It was in a vulnerable state. I thought hard about it.
Opened up – what would love do? Some of my grief stories
come from not trusting men. How I have been abused and mistreated by them. The
moment I engaged with Brent in person for the first time, I felt his genuine kindness. I
was curious about handing over a painting where I felt such vulnerability, to a “male figure.”
This felt healing.
This action felt safe.
I put trust into my intuition.
I put trust into Brent and his ability.
I made space in my heart to trust again.
Yes – breathing that trust into healing.
“Shadows” is two separate bodies of work showing at once at Southampton Arts ~ “Up Close and Personal | A Healing Journey through Grief” by Susan Seitz (Walkerton) and “Come and See | Culture Oppressed” by Brent Henry (Saugeen #29).
For More Information Contact Southampton Arts Centre Website HERE or Call 519 599 5068